


Carve Out Your Own Space

by IBoatedHere



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Established Relationship, Future Fic, Jack is Intense/dumb/sweet, Living Arrangements, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 21:16:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8638402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IBoatedHere/pseuds/IBoatedHere
Summary: Bitty doesn't move in with Jack following graduation. Jack tries to be okay with it.





	

Bitty still has his graduation gown on when Jack asks him to move in with him.

Bitty smiles, presses his hand to Jack’s cheek and says no. “But.” He extends on his tiptoes to kiss him. “I do think Providence is a good idea.”

*****

Jack doesn’t get it.

He doesn’t admit that he doesn’t get it until they’re alone in the smallest kitchen he’s ever seen in the fifth apartment they’ve looked at that day.

The realtor has stepped outside to let them discuss what they really think.

“I think with a little paint I could really fix this place up, don’t ya think?”

Jack stares up at the crack in the ceiling. “Why don’t you just move in with me?”

“Jack.”

“You can’t tell me you’re going to be happy here. In this kitchen.”

Bitty looks around and Jack wills him to see what he sees. Or, what Jack doesn’t see.

A center island. Stainless steel everything. An expensive stand mixer tucked in the corner. The two of them on lazy Sunday mornings, half dressed and a lot in love, making breakfast together, talking and laughing and kissing.

“Maybe not this kitchen,” Bitty says finally. “But I’m sure I’ll find one.”

Jack looks back up at the ceiling and shakes his head.

******

Everything Bitty owns is in boxes in his apartment.

They’re all neatly labeled. Bathroom. Bedroom. Winter Clothes. Summer Clothes. Kitchen (numbers one through six).

Jack trips over them at least three times a day.

He stubs a bare toe on one that rattles, measuring spoons and whisks Bitty tells him, and begs Bitty to please unpack.

“I’d just have to pack up again,” he hears Bitty say. He’s stretched out on the couch tweeting or texting or something. “Shouldn’t you know where they are by now and how to avoid them?”

Jack wants to say that that’s the point. They’ve been here so long that he should know. That he’s been waking up next to him all summer and he loves it. He loves coming home and having someone there. Someone to talk to. To tell him that he loves him too.

Jack wants to ask why that’s not enough.

Instead he says “I’ll be more careful.”

Bitty sits up on the couch and reaches over the back for Jack’s hand.

Jack lets him take it then lets himself be pulled down for a kiss.

“I love you,” Bitty says and Jack knows he means it.

“I love you, too.”

*****

“Are you worried about us living together?” Jack asks. Bitty still has his toothbrush in his mouth and can’t answer. Jack’s not going to admit that he timed it out like this but…. “Because you don’t have to. We lived together before. At the Haus.”

Bitty tips his hand back and forth in an iffy motion and spits into the sink.

“No, we definitely lived together. Right across the hall. We never had a problem.”

“You didn’t like me singing in the shower.”

“I loved it.”

Bitty rolls his eyes and Jack follows him into the bedroom. Bitty is pulling down the sheets on his side of the bed and Jack is still waiting for an answer.

He’s heard stories of couples realizing how wrong they were for each other when they finally moved into together. It’s the little things; not emptying the dishwasher, leaving shoes in the middle of the floor, not being able to agree to what they want to watch on TV.

None of that is going to happen to him and Bitty.

They both empty the dishwasher.

Jack always lines his shoes up next to the door.

Bitty is content to watch whatever documentary Jack likes as long as he gets to lie on the couch with his head in Jack’s lap and Jack’s hand in his hair.

“Is that it?” Jack presses as Bitty settles into the bed with a sigh.

“I’m not worried about living with you,” he waves his arms out to the room that he’s been sleeping in for months. “Obviously.”

Jack leans against the door frame and crosses his arms.

“Is it your parents?”

“What?”

“Do they not want me living with you until we’re married because if that’s true then I’ll-.”

“Oh my lord, Jack, please.” Bitty has crawled across the bed with one hand pressed to his heart and the other stretched out in front of him. “Please do not finish that sentence. Not right now. Not like this.”

“Is it me, then? Do you just not want to live with me.”

Bitty shakes his head and pushes himself up onto his knees. “Sweetheart, honey, baby. _No_.”

Jack steps into his open arms and Bitty wraps them around his neck.

It takes a moment but Jack loops his around Bitty’s back and pulls him close.

“This has nothing to do with my parents and certainly nothing to do with you. This is a _me_ thing. I’ve never lived alone before. I can’t go from my parents to college to here.”

Jack bites his tongue so he doesn’t whine, _that’s what people do, Bits._ They leave home, go to college, meet someone, and settle down.

Jack is so ready to settle down, to quiet that voice in his head that tells him he’s never going to find someone that’s going to love him. That he’s not worth it.

“I just need to do this, Jack. It’s not forever. We both need a little space sometimes.”

Jack disagrees. He’s had space. He spent most of his life all alone. He didn’t have a lot of friends growing up and the ones that stuck around only wanted him for his father. But, he doesn’t want to push so hard that _it’s not forever_ turns into _forever._

“Okay?” Bitty asks and when Jack doesn’t answer Bitty crooks a finger beneath his chin and tips it up so he has to look at him.

“As long as you’re happy, Bits.”

Bitty kisses him and leans back, dragging Jack with him.

Jack presses Bitty into the mattress and kisses him through soft sighs, moans, and giggles and matches him sound for sound.

Afterwards Bitty rests his chin on Jack’s shoulder and kisses the side of his neck.

“You make me very happy,” he says and Jack can’t help but think _then why do you want to leave me?_

******

Bitty is up early to get to the bakery and Jack is up to get to morning skate and Bitty is digging through Kitchen Box #3 for more coffee when he tells Jack that he’s going to look at more apartments.

Jack freezes with the spoon from his oatmeal stuck halfway between the bowl and his mouth. It’s already October. Bitty has been living with him for so long and there hasn’t been a mention of an apartment in a month. Jack thought maybe it wasn’t going to happen. Bitty wasn’t going to leave and eventually Bitty’s boxes would unpack themselves and everything would be fine.

“Do you want to go with me? I’m meeting the realtor at three. I don’t know what time they’ll let you out.”

“Yeah. I don’t know either.”

Bitty is watching him carefully and Jack knows he needs to do something with his face other than grimace so he tries to smile.

Bitty narrows his eyes.

“It’s alright, hun. I’ll take a bunch of pictures for you. I probably won’t decide anything today anyways.”

Jack shoves another spoonful of oatmeal in his mouth so he doesn’t have to say anything.

Bitty brushes Jack’s hair off his forehead and kisses him.

“Love you, see you later.”

Jack swallows down his oatmeal and yells “love you” right before the door closes.

*****

Jack showers after practice and wanders back to his stall to dig his phone out of his bag.

There are a dozen pictures from Bitty of apartments that Jack hates. He scrolls through them with a scowl on his face and ignores Tater when he asks him what’s wrong.

The few pictures are followed by a string of exclamation points and Jack looks back at them to find something worth getting excited about. He comes up empty.

_This one,_ Bitty had texted.

_I’m signing the papers!!!!!!_

_!!!!!!! :)_

“Shit.”

******

Jack is unimpressed with Bitty’s apartment.

It’s too small for the amount of rent that he’s paying, it has a terrible view out the bedroom windows, and he can tell just by looking at the showerhead that the water pressure is going to be terrible.

It's not good enough for Bitty but really, neither is Jack's apartment. At least it's a step in the right direction.

Bitty deserves a house with a wrap about porch and blue shutters and an apple tree in the backyard.

But, it’s only three blocks away from his own apartment and Bitty clearly loves judging by the smile that refuses to leave his face so Jack does his good boyfriendly duty and helps him move in.

He helps carry boxes up four flights of stairs, there is no elevator, and hauls a new mattress (a cheap mattress- Jack’s back hurts just from looking at the thing) and a gently used couch from a thrift store in the back of his truck.

Bitty is tucking fresh sheets around the mattress when he tells him he’ll find a frame for it later on. He’ll acquire things as he goes.

“You need a kitchen table,” Jack says slowly, like he’s not sure he’s allowed to have any input whatsoever.

Bitty unrolls the comforter and fluffs it out over the bed. “I’ll find one eventually.”

“I could buy you one. I could….” He trails off when Bitty looks over his shoulder at him. _I could buy you anything you wanted. Anything you needed. If you would just let me._

“Don’t worry yourself about my kitchen table, sweetheart. Now, why don’t you come on over here.” He pats the bed beside him. “You must be tired from all that heavy lifting.”

Jack feels fine but there’s a double meaning in Bitty’s words that has Jack pulling his shirt over his head before he even takes a step.

*****

Jack has a key.

Bitty pressed it into his hand a few days after he moved in, but he still knocks and waits for Bitty to answer.

He tells him to u _se your key, Jack, good lord,_ over and over.

He says it with yellow paint (for the bathroom) streaked across an old pair of jeans and drops of blue (bedroom) in his hair.

With an allen wrench in his hand looking frustrated because he can’t seem to put the bed frame together correctly.

With dough beneath his blunt fingernails from the crust he’s rolling out on the card table he found on craigslist that he’s set up in the kitchen.

“I gave that to you for a reason. Use it.”

“I guess I keep forgetting,” Jack says and closes the door behind him.

*****

Jack stays over some nights.

When he’s tired or worried about an upcoming game (or a past game) or Bitty asks him to. He’s never going to say no to that.

Sometimes he’s tucked into his own bed with his book on his own nightstand and the lights are off and he just misses his boyfriend.

On those nights he swings his legs over the side of the bed, sticks his barefeet into his shoes by the door and walks the three blocks and four flights that separate them.

He uses his key to get the door open.

*****

Bitty stays over Jack’s place too.

Those are Jack’s favorite nights. When the apartment smells like sugar and sounds like Bitty’s laugh and everything is warm and safe and he’s happy.

Jack wakes up to the shower running and the pillow next to him smells like Bitty’s shampoo.

Occasionally Bitty will catch him off guard.

Jack’s thinking it’s time to go to bed and Bitty will stretch and yawn and reach for his shoes.

“Guess I should be heading home.”

Jack freezes. “What?”

“I have to get home. Super early day tomorrow.” He yawns again and presses his face into Jack’s chest. “I have to make fifty mini pies for a bridal shower. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“You’re coming to the game?”

“Of course. Wouldn’t miss it.”

He grabs his coat off the hook by the door and pulls it on.

“Bits-.”

“You don’t need to walk me, Jack.”

It’s a conversation they’ve had before. It’s dark and cold and it’s only three blocks but Jack is Jack and he worries.

But Jack wasn’t going to say anything about that. He’s not sure what he was going to say.

“I’ll text you when I get home. Okay?”

Bitty kisses him and doesn’t let it linger. Why would he? It’s just a goodnight kiss. They’ll see each other tomorrow.

Jack lies alone in his bed watching the numbers change on the clock on the other side of the room. Bitty has been back at his apartment for hours now and his words still roll around in his head.

_I should be heading home._

_I have to get home._

Jack’s home is wherever Bittle is.

But Bittle has his own definition.

******

The card table wobbles.

It tips back and forth as they cut their steaks.

Jack’s not about to comment on it but he can tell that it’s driving Bitty crazy.

Jack’s not going to comment on that either.

Instead he looks at the wall behind him. There’s a painting from Lardo and a tacky wall clock from Shitty.

“I never got you a house warming gift.”

Bitty looks up at him and leans on the table. The whole thing tips towards him. “You didn’t need to. You helped me move in. Hang on a second.” He stands and the table tips back. He rips the top off a cereal box and folds it over a few times then jams it under one of the legs. “That was making me nuts. Are you going to stay over tonight?”

“You should take the KitchenAid. I’m not using.”

“I use it at your place. It’s yours. You bought it.”

“I bought it for you.”

“That was nice of you but there’s really not enough room here for it.”

Something snaps.

He hates this card table and this tiny apartment and it’s lack of storage. He hate that being alone in his own apartment feels like being on the road. Restless and weary and wanting something he can’t have right when he wants it because of distance.

“Why don’t you move in with me? What are you waiting for? Why are you wasting your time here?”

Bitty’s entire face immediately sets into a hard line. Jack’s not used to fighting off the ice but it’s not completely foreign. He can do it.

“This is my apartment.”

“I know but I don’t understand why. I have a place. A nice place.”

“Well I’m sorry this doesn’t live up to your expectations but we’re not all in the NHL. I’m trying my best here.”

“I didn’t say that you’re not I’m just saying I don’t get why you would want to live here when you could live with me.”

Bitty shoves himself away from the table. The cardboard slips out from beneath the leg and Jack puts his hand down to steady it.

“I live here because I want to.”

“For how long.”

“Until I feel comfortable with moving out.”

“All I’m hearing is that you don’t feel comfortable living with me.”

“Then you’re not really listening.” He drops his dishes in the sink. They’re plastic, bought at the dollar store. They don’t shatter when they hit the bottom. It’s unsatisfying. “This doesn’t have anything to do with you, Jack. Right now I just feel like I need my own space.”

“Away from me.”

“Oh my god.” Bitty clutches at his hair. “You’re not listening to a word I’m saying.”

“I am.”

“You’re not. You want to make this about you.” He grabs Jack’s plate off the table even though he wasn’t done. “I think you should go back to your place tonight.”

“Are you kicking me out?”

Bitty doesn’t turn away from the sink. “Guess so.”

Jack laughs in disbelief and he knows Bitty is rolling his eyes at him.

“Fine. I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Jack leaves without telling Bitty that he loves him.

But Bitty doesn’t say it either.

*****

Shitty picks up on the third ring.

“Hey,” Jack says and Shitty sighs.

“Hold on. I gotta put down my beer for this one. That’s your serious voice.”

“All I said was hey.”

“Yeah. Seriously. What’s up.”

“Bittle.”

“Uh oh.”

“I don’t get why he’s still living in that apartment.”

Shitty is quiet for a long moment. “You two have a fight?”

“Yes.”

“Your first fight?”

“Yes.”

“Ho boy. Talk me through it.”

“His apartment is awful, Shits, it’s not good enough for him but he’d rather live there than live with me.”

“He doesn’t think it’s awful.”

“Compared to living with me I bet he thinks it’s great.”

“Oh man, brother. You’re really something,” Shitty says but his voice is warm enough that Jack doesn’t get offended. “Listen, you know Bitty is like, social as fuck, right? He’s always giving everything he has to everyone else...sometimes he needs a little time to unwind.”

“I understand that.”

“I don’t think you do. This is not an attack against you. He’s not doing it to hurt your feelings. Plus you know, Bits is younger than you.”

“I know that,” Jack snaps. He got a call from Kent a short time after they came out. All he said was _“that kid, really?”_ before he hung up. Jack didn’t know how he knew. Bitty’s name was never released but maybe it didn’t have to be for Kenny to know. Maybe he just figured it out at the epikegster. Just that one moment and he knew. Jack had fumed and thought about calling him back to yell at him until his voice was hoarse but Bitty called instead and Jack had to take it.

“Right. So he’s on his own for the first time. He wants to know he can...I don’t know...fix his own leaky faucet without any help. It’s empowering. There’s nothing like being in love and having someone be there when you need them but fuck, it’s a good feeling to know you can do it yourself.”

“But I would fix the faucet for him.”

Shitty whistles. “The point just whizzed right by ya Jacky-Boy. You and Bits are different people, Jack. You handle things differently. Right now this is what he needs. You don’t have to understand it, you just have to accept it. Just love him.”

_“I do.”_

_“I know that_. He loves you too. Jesus, looking at the two of you is like watching one of those really sappy Hallmark Christmas movies on a loop. I promise, Jack, one day the two of you will get married and have lots of babies and you’ll both be living in the same apartment.”

“I want to get him a house.”

“One step at a time, man.” “How long should I wait until I apologize to him?” “I’d tell you to sleep on it, give you both time to cool off completely but knowing you you’re headed over to his place as soon as we hang up so….”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep knowing that he’s mad at me.”

“Good thing he’s so close huh? What is it, two blocks?”

“Three. I gotta go.”

“Yeah, yeah, go get your boy. I gotta say, I’m glad you didn’t date seriously at Samwell. I never would’ve survived.”

“Sorry I called you so late.”

“Anytime. You know my world stops for you.”

******

Jack’s hands are full of the KitchenAid so he has to kick at the door.

When Bitty opens it he crosses his arms over his chest and tries to hold back a smile.

“You should have used your key.”

“How?” Jack laughs and Bitty rolls his eyes. It’s warmer than early and Jack can feel things start to shift back into place. “ I brought you a gift.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to. You should have it. You should keep it here and bring it back when you’re ready.”

“When I’m ready?”

“Whenever that is. I’ll be waiting. Patiently.”

“Oh really.”

“As patiently as I can. I want everything with you, Bitty. Eventually. Right now I can wait.”

Bitty raises one eyebrow skeptically but tugs on Jack’s sleeve anyways.

“C’mon in, sweetheart.” Bitty pulls him through the door and Jack ducks down to kiss him. The mixer is heavy and awkward between them but he couldn’t wait a minute longer. When he pulls away Bitty’s face is flushed and he’s smiling and he sounds a little breathless when he says “help me find a place for that. Just for now.”


End file.
